I LOVE BEING A MOTHER.
I would never give up the trials and pain that come attached to motherhood if it also meant giving up my kids. They, and my husband, are my everything.
For sure, I’m the kind of person who benefits from talking about parenting struggles with others. I recharge and reconnect beyond the rut I’m probably feeling stuck in at the time. This is especially true in times of sleep deprivation or hormonal chaos, the times when emotions defy my own logic, the times when I need the voices and understanding of others to get me through.
But even with all the venting, and complaining, and bemoaning of the stories churning unwritten in my head, I am happy devoting time and energy to my children. The stories can wait. The rapid growing of my little ones will not.
So, I have three kids now:
 |
| My cutie pies |
Ariana, 3 ½ years old
Ariana is our toddler caught between the world of a proud big girl and a little girl still learning to deal with emotions and her rapidly developing existence. She has two ways of dealing with frustrating situations: either crying out “Fine!” and shaking her little fists before stomping off to her room, or having a complete screaming meltdown. But she’s getting better at calming herself down after getting so worked up.
Her imagination is vast. One of my favorite moments was watching Ariana really play with her animals for the first time. It was different than pretend-play with toy dishes; her animals talked to each other and carried out a story in her head. To this day, her animals remain her favorite toy. She can entertain herself really well.
 |
| She's got at least 5 different kinds of toys here (before the animal craze) |
 |
| Rocker girl |
At the same time, she’s learning more and more how to play with Brielle. They run together and play with toys together and scream merrily throughout the house together. Ariana even gives Brielle blocks to play with in her crib on mornings when their mother is sleep-deprived and glued to the bed. Ariana is also quick to tell me of Brielle’s wrongdoings--including falsely accusing her at times, but what can ya do--and helps keep her safe. She also helps take care of Levi, like giving him his binky or singing to him if he’s crying.
When she’s not angry, she’s quite polite with her “please” and “thank-you’s.” She likes to be clean and kinda freaks out if she spills something on herself. She doesn’t mind getting dirty outside though, which is a good thing, and she always washes her hands of her own accord when she’s done (score!). Ariana also seems to do well socially when she’s in a comfortable environment. She’s made friends several times at the park, even with a little girl once who I don’t think spoke much English. At other times she’s quite shy, which is perfectly fine and suits her rather cautious nature. Ariana’s not the kind of kid who bounces off the walls and furniture like she’s in a pinball machine, but rather the kind who loves to run and outlasts most of the kids she runs with.
 |
| Look Brielle, it's a boy... |
 |
| Helped Daddy build his humongous Lego Saturn V Rocket |
Some of Ariana’s favorite things:
- Running around and hide-and-seek
- Singing (Moana songs are her current favs)
- Drawing
- Books
- Building Blocks
- Her animals and farmhouse
- Sofia the First, Little Einstein’s, My Little Pony, Curious George
- Rockets
- Going up and down slides
- Playing with friends and family
Current funny language thing: she refers to anything that happened in the past as “yesterday.” “Yesterday” could mean this morning, or a month ago, or actually yesterday. Also, she still says “Yord” instead of “Lord.”
The Yord commanded Nephi. . .
Ariana and I drive each other crazy at times, which makes sense since this is her first time being a three-year-old and my first time dealing with a three-year-old, but we also have a relationship of loving and forgiving. She loves her family and is our big sweetheart.
 |
| From bad hair day... |
 |
| ...to doing Mommy's hair |
Brielle, 1 ½ years old
Brielle is our mimic. She repeats a ton of what we say, even picking out words she’s never heard before from a long sentence. She says words in such a freakin’ cute accent that you just want to repeat it back to her in exactly the same cute way. (Like when she says “Google.” Ahh the cuteness!!) Sometimes I have to remind myself to say words the real way, and not her cutesy way. She also imitates a lot of what we do, especially if it involves dancing or shouting--even if she has no idea what we’re shouting about.
With her exploding vocabulary, Brielle is having a blast experimenting with things and names. She’ll be playing happily and all of a sudden shout “Daddy!” because she spotted him in a picture. Then she’ll happily point out the rest of the family in the picture AND in person if we’re there. Certain things are like “squirrels” to Brielle, as in, she sees them and forgets everything else as she shouts:
“Birdie! Birdie!”
“Airplane!”
“MOON!!!!!” (Moon beats airplane.)
The best thing ever is when she’s crying and all of a sudden she yells “airplane!” and quite literally forgets to be sad. These are the times when I think, “Thank you, God, for sending an airplane.”
Even though she’s a mimic, she still has her own personality. Ever since she was young she’s had a tendency to just stare at people, and that hasn’t gone away. When it’s crowded she likes to just people-watch. But once she’s comfortable with someone, she likes to be around them and show them some new exciting thing. She’s become very affectionate and loves to give kisses and hugs. Her favorite thing to do before naptime and bedtime is give hugs and kisses to me, Ariana, and Levi, then happily shout “Goodnight!” as I carry her to her crib. She could kiss Levi’s little head all day long if I let her. She grows very concerned when he’s crying, making sure to tell me “crying!” if I’m doing anything other than attending to him when he’s sad. She tries to give him his binky, but is still working on not jamming it into his mouth. She has at least learned to throw his blanket over his legs instead of his face.
 |
| Are ya kidding me with this hat, Mom? |
If Brielle is freaking out too much, or having a very contrary toddler day where she fights me on EVERYTHING, then I’ll put her in her crib and she calms down. She just needs her space sometimes, like we all do. She also likes to play with Ariana and is getting better at it as she grows older. The two love to run from one end of the house to the other while pushing toy strollers. Of course, when she’s feeling mischievous, she’ll grab one of Ariana’s toys and run around the house with a frustrated Ari chasing her. It’d be hilarious if I didn’t feel so sorry for Ari at the same time.
If Brielle is frustrated with a toy, she chucks it (we’re still working on this). If she’s frustrated because I told her no, then she looks for something to throw or knock over like Godzilla--and she looks at me the whole time as though saying “See what I’m doing? You made me do this!” The funniest time was when she first tried to knock over Levi’s rock ‘n’ play, which failed; then she tried to knock over the farmhouse and didn’t push it hard enough; then she tried again and finally got the farmhouse knocked down. By then, her failures had quenched her rebellious spirit and her look seemed to say “Uh, what was I upset about again?”
 |
| Ariana dressed her up as a princess |
 |
| Reading on her favorite chair |
Brielle’s favorite phrases:
“There you go” or “Here you go”
“Hey, Bee-bye!” (Levi)
“I do it!” (As in, let me do it!)
“See it?”
Some of Brielle’s favorite things:
- Running around
- Building Blocks
- Swings
- Airplanes and birdies
- Rocks
- Books
- Closing doors
- Kissing Levi
- Talking
Brielle loves her family. She is so excited every time Daddy comes home, and will run up to give me a hug if I’ve been gone for a while (like taking a 3-hour nap on the weekends…) After she sees me in the morning and we’ve taken care of the usual morning stuff, she’ll ask about Levi and go try to find him to give him a morning kiss. She is our little sweetheart.
 |
| Hey, Bee-Bye! |
Levi, 2 ½ months old
Levi is our squeaky, smiley baby boy. He loves to smile at people, especially his family, and will coo to whoever is talking to him. He’s pretty chill during most of the day, which is nice because his naps aren’t super long--only his morning nap reaches an hour. He loves being held, though I’m not sure how much he loves us kissing his little head and cheeks all the time. ;)
 |
| Go Batman! |
 |
| Wuz up |
He tends to poop once every few days, which is actually pretty nice, as long as I get him to a changing pad in time for when he does go (otherwise LOOK OUT). He’s only shot pee at me ONE TIME, so I’m either a pro at this changing stuff, or he’s just more polite than his sisters were (Ariana was the worst).
His night-sleeping is decent. For a few weeks now, he’s usually gone at least 5 straight hours of sleeping after entering what I call “night mode.” The tricky part is he enters night mode anywhere from 10:00 to midnight, which changes the time when he wakes at night. But that usually guarantees at least 4 or so hours of straight sleep for me, so waking up in the middle of the night isn’t too horrendous. We’re usually awake for 30-45 minutes depending on how much he eats.
Levi's favorite things:
My Kids
My kids are my joy. Yeah, sometimes there’s rain and lots and lots of mud, but after that comes the rainbow. And I’m happy that in our house, we have a lot more rainbows than mud.
 |
| Love my boys |
 |
| Love |
