Finding Home Amidst the Change

You can learn a lot about yourself after a big move. It’s the kind of change that shakes life up, throws you out of your comfort zone. You might turn to coping methods like binge-playing a mindless mobile phone game or downing chocolate oranges. You wish you could just sleep it off, or plug in headphones and Spotify your way to tranquility.

And it’s a whole new ballgame with young ones.

Life after Move #1

Levi, of course, was largely unaffected. As long as he has his family, his bed, food, and a decent floor, he’s a happy baby. Wouldn’t it be great if we could all be as easily satisfied as a little baby? He even learned to army crawl while we were in Palo Alto. (Google provided temporary housing for us during the month of November.)

The girls had a harder time. Young as they are, they don’t have many coping methods for such a drastic change in their lives--other than beating each other up in their limited playspace or demanding comfort from their mom at all times. Since their mom was sleep-deprived and stressed, she couldn’t always be present for them in the way they needed her to be. That led to a lot of meltdowns for everyone.

Clayton was also largely unaffected, as he was away starting his dream job at Google. And because he’s always been the calm yin to my ruffled yang. His biggest challenge was probably dealing with all of us crazy girls.

And yet, there is magic in a family who loves one another. I still remember the morning I woke to a feeling of peace, rather than the dread I had been facing each day. It was easier to respond with patience and love. I dished out far more hugs and cuddles and it was good for my soul. We played and laughed.

Like sooo many things in life, there were pros and cons every step of the way--things to squeal about, and things to grumble about. Our temporary situation meant we couldn’t settle down, or adjust, or begin to accept a new home. At the same time, it was . . . temporary! Our struggles there would not last forever.

Life after Move #2

And indeed, they did not. We were incredibly blessed and fortunate to find the place that we did in north San Jose. A house with carpet, lots of space, and a decent backyard covered in shade that will be most heavenly in the warmer months. It’s been very well taken care of by the owners and previous tenants. My sense of comfort went way up. We moved Levi to his own room (for his playpen fit nowhere but our room in Palo Alto), and soon he was back to only waking once at night. I returned to my normal tired self, rather than my wild, sleep-deprived beast of fury.

Even with the bigger space, the second move to the house was still another change for the kids. Levi was in baby heaven with carpet and toys stretching as far as his eye could see, but the girls shrank right back into super mama-attached mode. Only this time, I was happier. I could be there for them right from the beginning. The love and gratitude I felt from our growing bond was amazing. So many precious moments, so many times I wanted to shout to the world how much I love being a mom.

There’s still the down days, of course. I’m still hit with emotional whiplash. I might get out of bed not fully awake, and then the heaviness will pull me down the rest of the day, confining me to half-sleep on the couch for longer than I’d like. But we are so happy to be here.

Life in California

Adjusting to California in general has been part of the challenge. I mean, I’m from a small family of four, and from a small town in a valley more overrun with desert weeds and dust than people. That is not the case here. I’m often overwhelmed and stressed when I’m out and about--from all the people, from the crowded streets, from the freeways and highways with badly designed merge lanes and exit lanes. I am frequently plagued with anxiety when I drive around here, and grumble bitterly when it takes forever to find a parking spot or even make it through the darn parking lot. The drivers here are on par with the less-than-exemplary courtesy and abilities of Utah drivers. Only because there’s so many more here, it’s a lot worse.

We haven’t had much time to focus on sightseeing, but I know I have to get over my travel anxieties in order for us to go anywhere. That’s after we’ve set money aside to pay for anything in the first place.

When they're not in their cars, I will say, the people here have been so nice. So many have held their doors open for us, or stopped to let us by in a doorway, or just been generally helpful. Someone even stopped by the other night to let us know our car’s lights were still on. I’ve met several other moms with kids, and hope to do more with them after the holidays.

And of course . . . there’s the weather. The glorious, wonderful weather. The lows here are the highs in Utah. Until recently, it’s been above 60 degrees and mostly sunny. It’s much colder in the shade or after the sun goes down, but even then, it’s a far cry from the below freezing that I’ve been accustomed to for this time of year. No wonder everyone wants to live here. :)

Ready, set...

Go!

Settling into our new home

Right from the beginning, I was so overwhelmed with how much unpacking lay before me. The settling-in process would have to happen in between the usual making meals, cleaning up meals, changing diapers, doing laundry, and keeping the kids alive. The need to clean more than just the kitchen table was also always lurking.

I tried so hard not to be stressed about it. There was no pressure at all: I could unpack at a snail’s pace and be fine. The trouble was, I’m a slightly OCDish person, and the longer I went from room to room dodging boxes, or searching boxes in vain for some specific thing, the faster I started losing my mind.

But we’ve now reached a point where most of the important stuff is unpacked. While my head has been telling me for a while that all is well, it’s my emotions that are finally on board with the idea. The girls have, I kid you not, reached that blissful time when having two kids close together pays off. They don’t just go more than five minutes without hitting or yelling at the other, they play together. Ariana gives Brielle a hug and kiss before her naptime.

Something else that happened is my desire to go out to eat went way down. In Provo, we did that quite a bit--it was yummy, it was energy-saving, and the restaurants were never that far. But here, everything is a bit of a drive away--and super expensive. No Denny’s here that offers free kids meals at dinnertime.

The result is I want to cook and plan more. I still don’t like cooking, don't you worry, but my motivation has totally changed. It’s been great.

Ari's feet have grown

We are happy. I’m able to relax a bit more, breathe deeply, and feel . . . home. Though I still drown my occasional woes in chocolate oranges. 'Tis the season!

From Utah to California: Our Trip Recap

Goodbye Utah

All moved out! Then we spent a few more days in Utah.

The morning finally arrived. We slept in, of course--with a sick baby waking multiple times a night, what can you do--and then it was time to say goodbye to Utah.

Goodbye, Grandma and Grandpa Watts' yard :(

Except not yet, because first we stopped on the Utah side of Wendover to visit Clayton’s sister Leila. We thought only she and her two-year-old son would be home, and that her two older girls would be in school, but the Tooele School District gives elementary kids half-days on Wednesdays! We came late enough that they were home. What a happy surprise for Ariana to see her girl cousins too. We ate lunch and hung out, the girls shared their Halloween candy, and then we said goodbye and left Utah for reals.

Boy cousins!

The rest of the trip to Reno was, frankly, a blur. We did make potty stops and a food stop for dinner. At the restaurant in Winnemucca, the girls looked out the window and saw glittering lights on a casino across the street. Brielle said, “Pretty!” and Levi was hypnotized. I made sure to teach Levi all about the evils of gambling, though I told him it was okay to like the lights. ;) Our waiter was an older guy who reminded Ariana of my dad (“I like him, he looks like Papa Glenn!”) and he was very kind and complimented us on our kids and family.

Then we were off again. None of the kids slept as long as we hoped. We popped in a movie when it got dark, and still after that, the kids fought sleep. They literally fell asleep right before we got to our hotel in Reno--after 10:00 our time.

The Reno Hotel

With Google reimbursing our travel expenses, we simply picked what seemed like a nice hotel and upgraded to a nice room once we got there. We chose the Atlantis casino/hotel thing (since like every nice hotel there is also a casino). But getting to that room was tricky. Because we’re staying in temporary housing for a month in California, and the rest of our stuff is in storage, we had to pack enough clothes for all five of us to last at least a week. That’s a ton of clothes, in case you’re wondering. We didn’t have anything separated into use for just one night. Since the parking lot was very far from where we needed to go, and valet parking was included in the cost, we just used the valet instead.

The valet guy held the doors and waited patiently while we lugged two suitcases, a clothes bag, a super heavy diaper bag, a backpack, my toiletries bag (consolidated into the diaper bag), my purse, Levi’s pack n’ play, and Levi’s car seat into the lobby. With two sleepy girls clutching their blankets beside us and our mountain of stuff, and the casino glowing just ahead, we must have been quite a sight.

A bellman loaded our stuff onto a cart and led the way to our room on the 20th floor. (The view was totally worth it.) He was very friendly and helpful the whole time, although probably confused why we had so much stuff for one night, though of course he didn’t ask. He also complimented us on our kids before he left. After that we tried to get Ariana and Brielle to sleep in the same bed. Hindsight: bad idea. Ariana is fine because she falls asleep so fast, but Brielle doesn’t, and Brielle also isn’t super used to sleeping in a big bed. Brielle wouldn’t leave Ari alone, and their constant bickering was also keeping Levi awake. Finally we moved Brielle to the floor, and after 11:00 our time, all three fell asleep.

From desert to mountain: Lake Tahoe

Before leaving the hotel, we ordered room service to bring our breakfast the next morning, something I’d never done in a hotel before. We did forget to put enough formula in our small container in the diaper bag, so Clayton actually had to have valet retrieve the van so he could get the big formula can (and he dropped off a couple things to lighten our load later), and then had them re-park the van . . . something we figured the valet people probably hadn’t done much before. When we checked out, the two women behind the counter were excited about Levi and smiled at the girls. Clayton and I also figured that people here probably didn’t see little children too often.

Then we were off! In a short time we’d left the casino-strewn desert of Reno and were in the base of the Sierra Nevadas. The mountains were beautiful. We visited Lake Tahoe, which was amazing. We found a teeny tiny public beach (the main beach was farther down the main road, but we didn’t realize that, so we’ll stop there next time). The water was cold of course, but that didn’t stop little kids from playing in the sand and water! Until they fell in, that is. (Poor Brielle.)

Pushing through to Palo Alto

After Tahoe, we had one potty break, and then we didn’t stop again except to switch drivers. We gave the kids lots of snacks and watched two movies. After Sacramento we got off I-80, driving past Walnut Creek (where I and my brother were born) and Pleasanton (where my parents lived when we were born). By that point we were encountering rush hour, which wasn’t too horrific on our side because we were going towards Silicon Valley. But the traffic away from it . . . soooo many cars. So much stop-and-go and red on the GPS. So much pity for them and gratitude that we weren’t in it. It convinced me to definitely try and find a place to live that's closer to Mountain View.

We hit more and more traffic the closer we got to Palo Alto. In fact, there was a 5-mile stretch between Mountain View and Palo Alto that the GPS estimated would take 13 minutes to get through. However, we skirted all the heavy traffic because of the carpool lane, woo-hoo! Once we made it off the highway, we thought we were only three minutes away when we realized I’d only put “Palo Alto” into the GPS on my phone, and not the actual address . . . :O Thankfully it was only ten more minutes away, and then at long last, we arrived.

Temporary Housing

We’re staying in a brand new townhome. From our kitchen and living room, we can look directly into the garage of an auto repair shop. Just past the shop is El Camino Real, a major road in the Bay Area. We have a very narrow garage, two-car but not side-by-side, and it’s really hard to park inside with the van.

The kids absolutely love the stairs, though Brielle has already wiped out twice, and there’s no carpet. The place is very modern, with drawers that close themselves with just a small push, and cabinets with no handles. The cabinets are also very high; I can barely reach the second shelf. And of course what they have on the bottom shelf is not normal glasses, but wine glasses. ;) There are pictures everywhere of . . . buildings. (Because there aren’t enough of those here . . . ?) There’s a balcony outside that winds around just enough that the kids can run around and enjoy.

This place wasn’t our first choice, but it was much better than an apartment--and ultimately we are super grateful that Google is footing the bill for our stay here, because we’re saving a ton of money this way. It does make me excited to find a place soon, so hopefully that’ll all work out!

The kids are doing pretty well. Levi still has a runny nose and is congested at night, but he’s through the worst of his cold and is sleeping better. Ariana coughs a lot if she runs around too much, but besides that, she’s doing well too. The girls immediately found ways to entertain themselves and have played well. Emotionally they’re, well, probably about as rattled as I am--and they’ve no practice with such a thing. So there has been many tears shed, but we’re getting through as a family. Levi is just happy and kicking like always. :)

Now I just need to survive the next month by myself each day with the kids. Time to find a park!

Things You Might See Differently Once You Have Little Kids

Caring for little kids is a bit of a big deal, so of course, they'll change how you see certain things. Here's a few thoughts on what may seem different once they're in your life:

LEAVING THE HOUSE

The first step to leaving the house is getting yourself ready, which has been a piece of cake since you were old enough to tie your own shoes. With more kids, you just add more steps--step one for you to get ready, step two a child, step three another child, and so on. Simple.

Now cue the fights when the child doesn’t want that shirt, or those pants, or those shoes. There’s the younger child who does want to wear shoes, but can’t put them on by herself; and then there’s the oldest child, who CAN put them on, but now doesn’t want to. And then there’s the baby, all giggly and drooly in the carseat in the front room, spitting up or pooping quite happily right after you buckled him in. Or maybe it’s the middle child who smells suspicious as you open the door.

Or maybe it’s both. It happens.

Eventually you get to the step that involves the diaper bag and everything you can’t forget: two sets of diapers, diaper cream, two sets of back-up clothes, wipes, changing pad, a pacifier, snacks, drinks, nursing cover, burp rag, cell phone, wallet, sanity (I often forget this one).

Then we reach what I consider my nemesis. . .nemeses?. . .the carseats. You wrestle all the straps and snaps and buckles and you win, eventually.

By the time you reach your destination, you’re wondering why you’re not in Jamaica for a four-day vacation, because you certainly spent enough time and effort to get you there.

But no, it’s only Wal-Mart.

POOP

Right from day one, you’re immersed in a new world of poop. You clean the last bout of sticky tar-like poop off your baby’s little bum. You keep track of dirty diapers to make sure your baby’s healthy. In the days that follow, poop will cover blankets, your clothes, your couch. It will fill baby’s diaper and beyond. It’ll turn baby’s back or tummy orange.

As your child grows, your new worst nightmare is your child squirming and rolling during a diaper change, threatening to land that poopy bum on anything but the changing pad.

Your schedule revolves around their poop. Smell a little something at family dinner? Time for a change! Got your toddler all set with clothes changed, shoes on, and heading out the door? Their favorite time to poop! Missed a call on your phone or at the door while you were cleaning up the yuck? It’s nothing personal. Want to go swimming but your little one hasn’t taken care of their daily business yet? Might want to wait on that.

It just gets better when more pooping bums come along. On some mornings they all go at the same time, so by the time I’m done with it all, I can barely walk down the hallway without keeling over.

Then there’s potty training. . . . . . . . . .that’s all I’m gonna say.

Oh, and diarrhea. You want to torture someone, you make them clean up a kid’s bum when they got the runs.

And part of pooping is tooting. With each young child comes a new toot machine set on full autopilot. Beware those bums.

BODILY FLUIDS

Then there’s the lovelier mess of bodily fluids. Before I had kids, dealing with snot and vomit was disgusting. Now after having kids. . .it’s still disgusting.

I would vote vomit as the worst. My husband is the primary cleaner of such messes--especially when I’m pregnant and can’t even enter the room--and I probably owe him my soul for that.

Then there’s the yellow fluids that come from down below. It’s not so bad to deal with until the child is potty training and it gets. . .everywhere. It’s the hardest to clean when it’s on furniture and carpet. After a while you almost start to miss when it was contained in a diaper. Almost.

Spit-up is one of those baby fluids that everyone says you just get used to. It’s gooey and smelly and inconvenient, but they are right: you do.

Where runny noses are concerned, I’ve gotten a lot of exercise chasing my kids around the house with a tissue, praying I can wipe the snot before their hands do. Three-year-olds are decent at grabbing tissues before disaster strikes. But in two and unders, since you can’t quarantine them in their room all day, your couches are gonna get it. First the snotty child runs and faceplants on the cushions as she pulls herself up. Then her nose will itch and she’s got this perfect couch at face level, so why not.

But since having kids, wiping runny noses is as routine as brushing hair out of my face. Ya just roll with it. Which leads me to. . .

SICKNESS

I once thought there was no way my kids could be contagious if they’d had a runny nose for weeks and weeks. I mean seriously, transferable sickness can’t last that long, right? But after observing my snotty kids interacting with others, and other snotty kids interacting with mine, I’ve learned the truth: THEY’RE ALL CONTAGIOUS. ALL THE TIME. They’re contagious with the Runny Nose Virus (RNV).

This virus usually doesn’t affect their moods. Maybe they’ll have one lethargic day, or one or two hard nights of poor sleeping. But it’s enough to keep you confined to your sickness-riddled house. There is no going to the park, (especially indoor play-places), or the library, church, that exercise gym with the daycare, or friends’ houses. For our family, the only outlet is going to our parents’ houses, where we cross our fingers and hope that good adult hygiene will protect parents from RNV.

Beyond RNV, our kids will only throw up or have a fever once or twice a year, if they’re lucky. On occasion those runny noses morph into infections. Then there’s the issue of us the parents getting sick. Remember those sick days when all you did was sleep in your bed, or lie on the couch watching TV shows with a box of tissues by your side? Yeah, those days are out--or at least come much less often.

SAFETY

Safety takes on a whole new meaning once you start caring for fragile little humans who will crawl right off a bed because they don’t know that gravity is a thing.

To protect these little ones, parents must develop a degree of paranoia. The potential threats are everywhere, and having developed safety awareness long ago, it can be hard for parents to nail down every risk to a child. Just think of the heart-stopping trouble a child can cause once they learn to open doors. There’s the first day your child hears the garage door opening and goes “Daddy!” just like normal, but then you hear the door to the garage open--and it takes approximately 2.67 seconds to imagine the child running into the garage as the car pulls in, and terror strikes.

But just a day prior, you never would have pictured such a threat because the child had never opened the door to the garage before.

The best age for triggering heart attacks is when the child starts walking and climbing. Children develop mobility far faster than common sense, which isn’t all that fair to their caretakers. One second, you’re showing her the way to the slide on the playground; the next, she’s tumbling off the playground because she tried to climb down the ladder like you did, and very much couldn’t do it, but it never occurred to you that she’d even try.

There are things children can fall off of, and things that can fall on them.

There are electrical sockets and things that should not be ingested.

There are hot things and sharp things.

There is lots of water. Sometimes.

There are cars outside.

Personally, just writing about this triggers my paranoia and anxiety. It’s daunting to think of how much brainpower goes towards protecting young ones. And not just brainpower either, but also emotional power. I apologize now to anyone who may have endured my over-reaction to something small that happened to my child--I’m still learning to control my mama bear. But if I happen to be pregnant when such a thing happens, you might want to run.

This part of parenting is not fun. But I pray every day, and I observe that the human race hasn’t died out because of dangers befalling children, and my heart goes out to those who have experienced the greatest of losses to ever be felt by a parent.

“Making the decision to have a child -- it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” -Elizabeth Stone

Protecting our children becomes a part of us, from day one. I can’t blame any parent for being overprotective, and the level at which parents take a step back as their children grow older will be different for all of us.

YOURSELF

Children are not adults. (Just in case you were wondering.) Therefore, they don’t see things the way our adult brains, and all the adult brains around us, see things. That includes us.

Children don’t judge, for one thing. They don’t see flaws or societal expectations. They won’t constantly tell you that you need to have this, or be this, or do this, in order to be happy. They don’t need our perfection--just our love and best efforts.

You may see a reflection of yourself in your young child. You’ll see the way you respond to things, like when you’re mad; or really happy; or some other habit or quirk that your child picked up. It’s bizarre to see because we’re not used to it--adults just don’t go around mimicking each other. (Weird, I know.) No one can show you how you react to certain things better than your child can. It’s a unique way to evaluate your own behaviors.

Children are little bundles of innocence and forgiveness and love, and to have their love is one of the purest forms of joy.

Sleep Deprived and Depressed

I am depressed.

The sort that comes from sleep deprivation.

It starts when baby won’t go to sleep before 11:00pm, so there’s no going to bed early. Then his 5 and 6-hour stretches of straight sleep are broken. Then the 3-hour stretch that follows his nightly snack is broken.

It comes without warning and lasts for days. Sometimes weeks.

I handle it okay at first. I function--I take care of everyone, even clean here and there. Get dinner kinda going before hubby gets home. Leave the house occasionally. Take 3-hour naps on the weekends when we’re not out and about. But all too quickly, what energy I have left slips away. My body begs for a long stretch of deep sleep, or maybe even sleeping all day in the manner of Rip Van Winkle until full rest has seeped into every inch of my bones.

But it doesn’t happen. Too much crying baby at night, too much juggling of three kids during the day to take a good nap. I even have neighbors and family who help when they can, and if baby complies, I do get a nap. Naps mean I can eat dinner without falling asleep.

Yet night comes again and the need is still there. Pushing myself out of bed the first couple times is hard enough, and each time after that is impossible. My hubby even helps later in the mornings when he can.

Still the struggle, every night, until my transformation into a zombie is complete.

And you know, zombies can’t do much. I’ve been one now for many days. The house needs dusting, vacuuming, sweeping. The kitchen floor is covered in sticky spots. My husband has cooked our meals for a long time. He’s done the bulk of the dishes. He’s done the last few loads of laundry. He’s put the girls to bed night after night. He’s freakin’ amazing.

And what have I done? I kill bugs that snuck inside the house. I pull weeds in 90 degree heat while the kids play in the shade because we don’t get out of bed before 10:00. What hurts is that there’s so much I want to do. I want to sing and dance with the girls. I want to help them learn and grow. I want to clean. I want to exercise. I want to leave the house and play at parks and play-places and the library and everywhere. I’m home all day with the kids--it feels like I have all the time in the world to do what I want.

Except sleep.

This barrier in my life is an invisible one. I go from tending need to need to need to need, pulled down by a weight of exhaustion. I can barely get myself to eat on some days, but I do--that I must do. I’ve been in this boat before, and I sank into a new world of being underweight. It took a long time to recover from that ding on my health.

I never wish for my kids to go away. It’s just that I start to break down, ignoring the simplest tasks beyond feeding and cleaning my little ones. I get short with them. I live on the couch. Soon I want to escape it all for just a little while, and go where there are no needs to tend, not even my own. I feel like a failure and I want my old self back and I want to cry and cry.

I am depressed.

But I push through. The love for my family never erodes. My little ones still love me, my 3-year-old forgives me. And I thank my lucky stars that I know, beyond a doubt, that this kind of depression will pass, because someday my baby will sleep again.

All I can do is prepare for that day when I really wake up. (Prepare mentally anyway, while I’m laying on the couch eating and drinking from play-food the kids bring me to keep me alive.) When I’m not a zombie anymore, and I have energy again, I will exercise and play and live again.

They've got the right idea...

And Then There Were Three

I LOVE BEING A MOTHER.

I would never give up the trials and pain that come attached to motherhood if it also meant giving up my kids. They, and my husband, are my everything.

For sure, I’m the kind of person who benefits from talking about parenting struggles with others. I recharge and reconnect beyond the rut I’m probably feeling stuck in at the time. This is especially true in times of sleep deprivation or hormonal chaos, the times when emotions defy my own logic, the times when I need the voices and understanding of others to get me through.

But even with all the venting, and complaining, and bemoaning of the stories churning unwritten in my head, I am happy devoting time and energy to my children. The stories can wait. The rapid growing of my little ones will not.

So, I have three kids now:

My cutie pies

Ariana, 3 ½ years old

Ariana is our toddler caught between the world of a proud big girl and a little girl still learning to deal with emotions and her rapidly developing existence. She has two ways of dealing with frustrating situations: either crying out “Fine!” and shaking her little fists before stomping off to her room, or having a complete screaming meltdown. But she’s getting better at calming herself down after getting so worked up.

Her imagination is vast. One of my favorite moments was watching Ariana really play with her animals for the first time. It was different than pretend-play with toy dishes; her animals talked to each other and carried out a story in her head. To this day, her animals remain her favorite toy. She can entertain herself really well.

She's got at least 5 different kinds of toys here (before the animal craze)

Rocker girl

At the same time, she’s learning more and more how to play with Brielle. They run together and play with toys together and scream merrily throughout the house together. Ariana even gives Brielle blocks to play with in her crib on mornings when their mother is sleep-deprived and glued to the bed. Ariana is also quick to tell me of Brielle’s wrongdoings--including falsely accusing her at times, but what can ya do--and helps keep her safe. She also helps take care of Levi, like giving him his binky or singing to him if he’s crying.

When she’s not angry, she’s quite polite with her “please” and “thank-you’s.” She likes to be clean and kinda freaks out if she spills something on herself. She doesn’t mind getting dirty outside though, which is a good thing, and she always washes her hands of her own accord when she’s done (score!). Ariana also seems to do well socially when she’s in a comfortable environment. She’s made friends several times at the park, even with a little girl once who I don’t think spoke much English. At other times she’s quite shy, which is perfectly fine and suits her rather cautious nature. Ariana’s not the kind of kid who bounces off the walls and furniture like she’s in a pinball machine, but rather the kind who loves to run and outlasts most of the kids she runs with.

Look Brielle, it's a boy...

Helped Daddy build his humongous Lego Saturn V Rocket

Some of Ariana’s favorite things:

• Running around and hide-and-seek
• Singing (Moana songs are her current favs)
• Drawing
• Books
• Building Blocks
• Her animals and farmhouse
• Sofia the First, Little Einstein’s, My Little Pony, Curious George
• Rockets
• Going up and down slides
• Playing with friends and family

Current funny language thing: she refers to anything that happened in the past as “yesterday.” “Yesterday” could mean this morning, or a month ago, or actually yesterday. Also, she still says “Yord” instead of “Lord.” The Yord commanded Nephi. . .

Ariana and I drive each other crazy at times, which makes sense since this is her first time being a three-year-old and my first time dealing with a three-year-old, but we also have a relationship of loving and forgiving. She loves her family and is our big sweetheart.

From bad hair day...

...to doing Mommy's hair

Brielle, 1 ½ years old

Brielle is our mimic. She repeats a ton of what we say, even picking out words she’s never heard before from a long sentence. She says words in such a freakin’ cute accent that you just want to repeat it back to her in exactly the same cute way. (Like when she says “Google.” Ahh the cuteness!!) Sometimes I have to remind myself to say words the real way, and not her cutesy way. She also imitates a lot of what we do, especially if it involves dancing or shouting--even if she has no idea what we’re shouting about.

With her exploding vocabulary, Brielle is having a blast experimenting with things and names. She’ll be playing happily and all of a sudden shout “Daddy!” because she spotted him in a picture. Then she’ll happily point out the rest of the family in the picture AND in person if we’re there. Certain things are like “squirrels” to Brielle, as in, she sees them and forgets everything else as she shouts:

“Birdie! Birdie!”
“Airplane!”
“MOON!!!!!” (Moon beats airplane.)

The best thing ever is when she’s crying and all of a sudden she yells “airplane!” and quite literally forgets to be sad. These are the times when I think, “Thank you, God, for sending an airplane.”

Even though she’s a mimic, she still has her own personality. Ever since she was young she’s had a tendency to just stare at people, and that hasn’t gone away. When it’s crowded she likes to just people-watch. But once she’s comfortable with someone, she likes to be around them and show them some new exciting thing. She’s become very affectionate and loves to give kisses and hugs. Her favorite thing to do before naptime and bedtime is give hugs and kisses to me, Ariana, and Levi, then happily shout “Goodnight!” as I carry her to her crib. She could kiss Levi’s little head all day long if I let her. She grows very concerned when he’s crying, making sure to tell me “crying!” if I’m doing anything other than attending to him when he’s sad. She tries to give him his binky, but is still working on not jamming it into his mouth. She has at least learned to throw his blanket over his legs instead of his face.

Are ya kidding me with this hat, Mom?

If Brielle is freaking out too much, or having a very contrary toddler day where she fights me on EVERYTHING, then I’ll put her in her crib and she calms down. She just needs her space sometimes, like we all do. She also likes to play with Ariana and is getting better at it as she grows older. The two love to run from one end of the house to the other while pushing toy strollers. Of course, when she’s feeling mischievous, she’ll grab one of Ariana’s toys and run around the house with a frustrated Ari chasing her. It’d be hilarious if I didn’t feel so sorry for Ari at the same time.

If Brielle is frustrated with a toy, she chucks it (we’re still working on this). If she’s frustrated because I told her no, then she looks for something to throw or knock over like Godzilla--and she looks at me the whole time as though saying “See what I’m doing? You made me do this!” The funniest time was when she first tried to knock over Levi’s rock ‘n’ play, which failed; then she tried to knock over the farmhouse and didn’t push it hard enough; then she tried again and finally got the farmhouse knocked down. By then, her failures had quenched her rebellious spirit and her look seemed to say “Uh, what was I upset about again?”

Ariana dressed her up as a princess

Reading on her favorite chair

Brielle’s favorite phrases:
“There you go” or “Here you go”
“Hey, Bee-bye!” (Levi)
“I do it!” (As in, let me do it!)
“See it?”

Some of Brielle’s favorite things:

• Running around
• Building Blocks
• Swings
• Airplanes and birdies
• Rocks
• Books
• Closing doors
• Kissing Levi
• Talking

Brielle loves her family. She is so excited every time Daddy comes home, and will run up to give me a hug if I’ve been gone for a while (like taking a 3-hour nap on the weekends…) After she sees me in the morning and we’ve taken care of the usual morning stuff, she’ll ask about Levi and go try to find him to give him a morning kiss. She is our little sweetheart.

Hey, Bee-Bye!

Levi, 2 ½ months old

Levi is our squeaky, smiley baby boy. He loves to smile at people, especially his family, and will coo to whoever is talking to him. He’s pretty chill during most of the day, which is nice because his naps aren’t super long--only his morning nap reaches an hour. He loves being held, though I’m not sure how much he loves us kissing his little head and cheeks all the time. ;)

Go Batman!

Wuz up

He tends to poop once every few days, which is actually pretty nice, as long as I get him to a changing pad in time for when he does go (otherwise LOOK OUT). He’s only shot pee at me ONE TIME, so I’m either a pro at this changing stuff, or he’s just more polite than his sisters were (Ariana was the worst).

His night-sleeping is decent. For a few weeks now, he’s usually gone at least 5 straight hours of sleeping after entering what I call “night mode.” The tricky part is he enters night mode anywhere from 10:00 to midnight, which changes the time when he wakes at night. But that usually guarantees at least 4 or so hours of straight sleep for me, so waking up in the middle of the night isn’t too horrendous. We’re usually awake for 30-45 minutes depending on how much he eats.

Levi's favorite things:

• Family
• Food
• Smiling

My Kids

My kids are my joy. Yeah, sometimes there’s rain and lots and lots of mud, but after that comes the rainbow. And I’m happy that in our house, we have a lot more rainbows than mud.

Love my boys

Love